Shirt and Shoes

This week has been super exciting and half productive.
Pros-Shirts arrived, got some new shoes, I have half cleaned my room, Made a to do list, Played a show, Done some school work, Worked on the Payback demo cover, Took some photographs, ate some pretty tasty foods and had some epic hang outs.
Cons- still not sleeping enough, finding it hard to concentrate on anything for more than an hour, still too lazy to find a job and still waiting on dead swans shirt(really getting sick of waiting for this).

Silence
It's almost over now. I'll drink this bottle dry because for tonight i just don't want to try. For tonight if only for tonight i don't want to be me. I wish i could explain my problems but I'll keep them to myself. I'm losing against the thoughts. Am i a killer for letting me kill myself. There are no lights no this road to guide. So where else can i turn and it bothers me to know that I'm one of few who thinks like this. Has the world turned it back on me like the many heroes before me. I'm done for tonight. I feel dead inside. As I spit these words through this mic like knives. It fucking hurts. I scream, I bleed, I cry, I die inside. And it kills me to try and song these songs to you. But if it wasn't to you there would be no one else. Am I in this alone? well I'm sick of writing songs and your sick of hearing them. Give me reasons to stop instead of a million reasons to keep it up. Sweat and tears hit the floor, a place that feels so familiar. I'm going to drink until i forget the world gave up. On the days when i needed reason to look up. Right now i hate myself, I hate my life, I hate it all.