12.07.09

there are people that read this blog that i really dont want reading anymore so i wont be posting on this one anymore.
if i feel in time that you should be reading something in my new one i will suss the deal your way. otherwise dont ask me about it.

peace.

Having to fight what my mind thinks and my heart feels kills me. No one ever wins this battle. Pathetic. What do you do when you feel yourself giving up? What do you do when you don't feel anything at all?

no one

Am i dying?

I Am.....

A fucking failure of a human being. Deadbeat.

Adrian sort your fucking life out.

Reminder: Theres No Point In Waking Up In The Morning.

I am losing control. Losing control over drinking. Sleeping. Eating. Thinking. I am Losing my mind. Honestly didnt think it would come to this. Hating life? Hating mine.

save me from me.

I fucked up the first time. This time I promised myself that I would say how I felt and always have and still fucked. I'm glad boys werent around on saturday to see who I am. I wish I had said things sooner. I'm pretty happy right now though. Right now i am content with death. I'm safer when i dont share. I'm safer when I keep things to myself. No one should know me. No one should have anything to do with me. I attract people to me then ruin everything to do with them. I wont get deep into anything. I'm done. I'm over it. This is it for me. I will only ruin myself. No one will get hurt but me.